Another Old One. This was from a couple of days after Sarah passed. September 18, 2011
I am looking up music for the services Tuesday. We picked out her clothes. I nearly hyperventilated.
Casket is chosen. I do pretty good.
Then, I see the deviled egg dish and break down. She made the best deviled eggs. It was her job.
And, all I can think is that she would want us to celebrate the time we had with her. A wise friend told my brother, "She was a bad ass. She wouldn't want us to be sad." I had a lot of people said that she just looked like one of those girls who could take care of herself.
So, I am gathering music that would make her smile. And, maybe make us smile, too.
She would want us to put on some My Chemical Romance or the Ramones and dance around the living room, or roll the windows down and sing at the top of our lungs.
I love you, Baby Girl. I miss you. And, I know I can't have you back. And, I know God has a plan. I just hope that I make you proud. And, tell Jerry Lynn hello for me. I'll take care of his baby if he takes care of mine.
I am a woman trying to find her place in this world. I have an awesome son. And, I am married to someone who is as perfect for me as someone can be. We are still mourning the loss of my daughter. We are working through it. We are still trying to find happiness in the grief. It is there. I want to help others find it with us.
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