Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Goin Out... Yikes!!
Tomorrow is a big day. I get to go to my first Rock Concert. I will be going out on my first night out with my best friends, Jennifer at http://bringinguptherare.blogspot.com/. It will be my first television interview. And, I get to meet Bret Michaels. And, I suffer from anxiety. Especially social anxiety. It is not like some people where it’s being out in the world in general. For me, it is “social” situations. I do pretty well when I get there. But, the getting there is another story.
Let’s go back in time… It was the 1987-1988 school year. I had been invited to join Eighth Grade Assembly. It was intended to be an honor to be invited. But, it felt like it was just all of the kids whose parents were involved in PTA. Anyway, select students were invited and what is consisted of was something like five or six dances during your eighth grade year. It was intended to be a way to give us more of a sense of community. To encourage us to reach out past the walls of our schools. They were fairly pleasant. And, I usually had an OK time once I found my friends. Now, school dances, I was fine. I knew the kids and the building. But, I did not know hardly any of these kids. There were many occasions that I would have debilitating sinus headaches the day of. I missed one dance because of one. In hind sight, we realized they were actually tension headaches. I still have the anxiety when there will be people I do not know well. Or, will be somewhere that I am familiar with.
So, a rock concert, even at a bar, is intimidating. There are far more people in a small space than I am accustomed to. And, to be honest, last time I was there was the last time I drank in public. And, it was not pretty. I had no intention of having that much. But, apparently I did. Vodka is a vile, evil concoction. But, I am going with Jennifer. Jennifer is my only friend I have that I have NO filter with. As sad, twisted, needy or demented as it sounds, she understands. She and I met the day her daughter was diagnosed with diabetes. She was the person I wanted to see most at Sarah’s funeral. And, her family can sleep a little easier at night now that they have a diabetic alert dog. The dog was a response to the need to protect their child from losing their battle with diabetes. She has more anxiety and different issues than me. But, I love her like she was my sister and want her to be as happy and well-adjusted as possible without being boring.
A few weeks before I found out about the Bret Michael’s concert, I had told Jerry that I would love to be able to tell him thank you for all that he has done for the diabetic community in person. If you did not know, he was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic when he was 6. (for more info http://www.diabetes.org/
living-with-diabetes/parents- and-kids/planet-d/d-people/ bret-michaels.html)
I had hem and hawed about going. And, when I realized that one of the few
baseball games I would be responsible for getting him to was the same night, it
saved me from the decision. My son insisted that I go to the concert. But, I
sincerely wanted to take him to the game.
Then I get the message from Jennifer that a local television station wants to interview us before the show and wants to try and arrange a meet and greet. So, hopefully tomorrow Jennifer and I will get to face our fears together. And, we will get to thank a man trying to help to make the lives of the diabetic community easier by raising awareness. I have a feeling there may be a lot of tears. From both of us. So wish us luck! Hopefully we will have photographic evidence.