Diabetes can kiss my pancreas!

For most people, they mourn the most on the anniversary of losing a loved one. But, in our case, it’s a little different. The events of the days are more clear in our memory than the number.

 Sarah passed away the morning of that the high school boys would be playing Jim Ned, another local team. They play Jim Ned the same week every year. So, tonight, while I am watching my son play football, I will be remembering texting his sister during the game. She was watching her step-brother play his first game of the season with her step-mom and little brother. I was at home watching Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle. It was pouring rain. It rained pretty much all the following weekend.

About 10 this evening, I am sure I will be sitting remembering talking to her on the phone. She told me all about the game. She asked me about “The Secret Circle” but begged for no spoilers. It is probably a good thing I did not know then that it would be the last time I would hear her say, “I love you” or good night.” I would never get to answer a text. I would never see her smile again or the twinkle in her eyes. 

I am doing OK. It still hurts. But, it is a little easier than last year. Partly because I am distracted. I received news at the doctors office that I really wish had been given to me later. But, the sooner the better. This is a two for one blog. I wanted to wait to talk to Ty in person before I actually posted the one below. You'll see why.

I am actually starting this writing process on Wednesday night. I received a diagnosis today that I do not want to post about until I get to talk to my son. I am insulin resistant. It doesn't mean I am diabetic. But, it means I am basically nose to nose with Type 2. I am going forward treating my body like I do have Type 2. Watching what I eat and moving my body. I have about 40 pounds or so that I need to shed to feel better. (I know at what weight I feel better.) 

Normally, this wouldn't feel like a traumatic diagnosis. But, I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my daughter. Then, I lost my daughter due to diabetes. So, yeah, it scares me a little. 

This isn't a death sentence. It is a constant reminder to LOVE MY BODY! With this being Suicide Prevention Week, it makes sense. If you love your body, you take care of it! 

I have also started on nutrients, vitamins and supplements to help my body work at it's best. This includes my brain. And, my medical provider agreed that I have ADHD and anxiety. So, we are trying to use said pills to help with them as well. I miss my brain not working. I can not focus or even think at all some days. My only saving grace with my job is that I did it for so many years that I know it like the back of my hand. 

I have so many things I want to do.  I want to get a degree in art. I want to do roller derby. I want to be a super-blogger. I want to remodel and clean my house! So, hopefully, if I can get my body in gear, I can! Wish me luck and send prayers!!! I will need them. There will be frustration and anger along the way, I am sure.

I contacted a new friend that is also resistant. She also has a parent that suffers from diabetes in a bad way. We have decided that we will throw things at people that eat sweets in front of us. I think stale baked items would be appropriate. This brings me to my last point, when someone states that they want to change the way they eat because they want to lose weight or to be healthier, DO NOT belittle the choice. Over the last couple of years, I have had people say, "You don't need to lose weight!" or "But, you are so thin. I just don't see where you need to lose weight." Worse still, they completely change the subject. I know they were trying to help. But, then I was maybe twenty pounds over weight. Now, it's forty pounds. Yes, sometimes the person is probably the last one that needs to lose weight. Help encourage them to make healthy choices! There are people that need to put some weight on. And, healthy eating can help them, too. Do not get me wrong. Don't give them  unsolicited advice. (Unless they ask.) But, encouragement is good! And, share recipes. If you find a healthy recipe maybe try it and bring them some. And, if you can see they have lost weight, even the smallest amount, tell them!!!!!

And, if you are trying to shed weight yourself, find friends with the same goal! I am blessed to have coworkers that are working to making healthy decisions. The friend I work with the closest is down 46 pounds! And, looking good. She is doing Weight Watchers and hitting the gym daily. I am very proud of her! Hopefully she will get to start her blog soon. It will probably be called "DeFoore and After." I'll let you know when she is up and running!

Well, Ty took the news well. he was busy kicking himself about not making a good tackle. He was really being hard on himself. I was kind of proud, though. He stated that if he had made the tackle and stopped the touchdown, it would have raised the teams spirit and the team as a whole might have payed better. And, the roller derby. I think I might just do it, while I can. So, maybe I will see you at the rink. ;) I want to leave you with something special that Sarah left behind.

Sarah's Voice