Monday, December 23, 2013

What We Dream About and For

I have started this blog about four times. But, every time I have, I have had my emotional feet knocked out from underneath me. And, thinking about the things that I want and don't have going on just makes me depressed and angry. But, I am trying to work on it. I would be lying if I didn't say that part of working on it did not include meds and a whiskey and coke at night. But, just one.

I have also come to a realization that some of my fantasy list also falls under realizations I have made and things I have learn. So, this will be a bit of and eclectic and random list. I know HUGE shocker, right?

1. Some of my wishes are for the world. The bible speaks of having the faith of a child. I have always held this close to my heart. It is part of the idealist in me. This wish is that the people of the world would find their inner child and latch on to it for everything they have. I have also realized that this is a lot easier with small children in your home. Whether they are your children or someone else's.

2. I use the phrase "This is a kindness." a lot now. I heard it on Doctor Who. Apparently, it is a rather common phrase here in the states, too. I like it a lot. I use it instead of "Can you do me a favor?" It implies that the act is not expected to be paid back. And, I am a proponent for doing things because it is the kind and right thing to do, not because you are keeping a tally of who owes you for what.

3. I am missing the country a bit. Mind you, I don't want to be out as far as I used to be. But, I would love to be out of the city limits with maybe 10 to 15 acres with trees. I want to have more chickens and goats. I also want to be able to rescue large dogs and have room for them to play. I want other animals, too.I want large farmhouse/storybook home with a studio space.

4. I want a mountain cabin all to myself. I could use time away from people.

5. I want to quit grinding my teeth. I did for a while. But, I started again for some reason.

6. My last wish for the evening is that you get to see the mark your child makes in the world. And, while they are alive. Pay attention to how your child interacts with people. Both adults and children.

I was shocked by how many parents knew about Sarah. I mean their children came home from school talking about her. And, not because she was the diabetic kid in the class. The talked about how strong her personality was. How she stood up for other kids. How she stood up for herself and made her presence known.

If you have children that have touched your kids that way. Let their parents now. It is an awesome feeling.


On a different note, I have a dear friend that lost a baby during pregnancy. I love her and her husband. If there was ever a couple that I would wish a child for a family, it would be them, I got a message from her this morning stating that she had a dream she wanted to tell me about.

I have had friends that have had dreams with Sarah ever since we lost her. But this one touched me more that the others. Somehow in my mind, I see Sarah greeting children as they come into Heaven, showing them the ropes and singing as she goes. This is the message I received.

"I dreamed about my baby being in Heaven. The baby was being held 
by someone else. They turned around, and it was your Sarah. She told 
me not to worry because the baby was with family and friends. 
Your Sarah is helping take care of my baby."

I cried and smiled when I read it. This is a hard time for people that have lost children. It doesn't matter if the baby didn't survive the pregnancy or the child lived for several years. It is still hard. Please be kind and patient.

I love you, Stephanie and Andrew. 

My heart goes out to all of the families that have lost children. May God pour your peace out over these families during this holiday season. 


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