Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Every time that you lose it sing it for the world...

Be careful what songs you play at your child’s funeral.

From that moment on, you will be tortured by the memory attached to the song. However, if they were favorites of you and your child, you will get the worst emotional whiplash you can imagine.

My daughter got her taste in music from me. We listen to a little bit of everything. But, we tend to gravitate to the more dark and “alternative” music. I listened to Sarah’s music with her partly because I enjoyed it. But, I mostly did it because my mother did the same thing. She wasn’t giving us permission to run the radio or “giving into us.” She was being involved and wanted to know what we were listening to. Plus, Bon Jovi was huge. And, she loved Bon Jovi.  So, when Sarah was gone, I was at an odd place in my musical choices.

Do I keep listening to these bands because I want to? Or, would I be listening to hold onto Sarah. Either was an acceptable reason. But, I wanted to figure it out. There are particular songs that we sang together a lot. 

“Weightless” by All Time Lowe. 

“NaNaNaNA” by My Chemical Romance. 

“Wagon Wheel” by The Old Crow Medicine Show. 

“Highway to Hell” by ACDC. 

Those songs I smile and cry my way through.

But, when a song comes out by of the bands that she loved, I am torn. Do I like the song because it's a good song, or because Sarah would have liked it. My taste in music will be forever touched my the taste of a fourteen year old girl. Granted, she had good taste in music. So, I am not complaining. But, it makes listening to music both sad and happy. 

But, the ones from the funeral are the hardest to hear. 

We called the list of songs we played at the funeral "Sarah's Setlist." And, here it is.

"Good Riddance" - Green Day
"Hands" - The Almost
"Hallelujah" - Paramore 
"Lullabies" - All Time Low
"Wagon Wheel" - Old Crow Medicine Show
"Love Story" - Taylor Swift
"What a Wonderful World" - Joey Ramone
"Airplanes" - B.O.B. with Hayley Williams
"Breathe" - Ryan Adams
"Beautiful" - Christina Aguilera

And, these are the two songs we played during the service.

But, most importantly, more than anything else you might take away from this... The ONE thing I hope you take away... Listen with your child when they listen to their music. If I had not, I would not have known her so well. I would have missed out on the opportunity to find out how much she and I were alike. How much I saw myself in her. How much she saw herself in me. And, I have the memory of hearing her sing in my head. I can still hear her voice. It is probably the most precious thing I have.

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