You know how every family knows a couple that should be the first one to be blessed with children. They are the sweetest, kindest most gentle people. And, it seems like they are the last ones to be blessed with children. Well, my couple just had a miscarriage. They are distraught and she is in both physical and emotional pain. I took them some food and hugged her neck. Talked to them for about three minutes and left. I know that in the depths of my grief, I wanted confirmation that people were concerned. But, not always the actually the company.
In the whole time I dealt with losing my own child, I have had very little anger. I still feel strongly that I did not deserve either of my children. And, I did not feel like I had room to complain when God took one away. I had no right to. But, these friends deserve children. A houseful if they want. And, I am angry and heartbroken. Of all people to take a child away from, why did it have to be then. My heart is heavy. It aches. I want to bathe and wrap them in love and prayer. Take their pain away.
There is a circle I travel in that is composed of parents that have lost children. There has been great debate about which is worse, losing a baby at or before birth or losing an older child. Many of the parents dismissed the comparison saying that there is no comparison. By saying that their loss was worse, they belittle the feelings and emotions of the parents that have lost the babies. Everyone copes with grief differently. I got the chance to know my child. My friends will not. I have been blessed to not lose a baby. I can not imagine their loss. The wondering what would they have been like. How they would have felt in their arms.
I know that there is usually a reason a baby is lost. And, that in hindsight, things sometimes make sense. But, right now. They don't want to hear that. I wouldn't want to hear it, either.
I have other blogs started and in notes. But, this is what is on my heart. Pray for my friends. Pray for all of the families that have lost babies.
I am a woman trying to find her place in this world. I have an awesome son. And, I am married to someone who is as perfect for me as someone can be. We are still mourning the loss of my daughter. We are working through it. We are still trying to find happiness in the grief. It is there. I want to help others find it with us.
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