Tuesday, December 11, 2012

16 Candles That Will Not Be Blown Out

     Tomorrow is a day that I have dreamed of for a very long time. I would take the day off from work. So, would Sarah's dad. And, we would take her to the DMV to get her driver's license. We would be planning a huge party. And, we would be buying car stuff for an old pick-up that I am sure she would have given a name to fit the personality of the truck.
     Instead, we will get up and go to work. We will try to keep from melting down completely. We will try to distract ourselves with things to keep us busy. My father will be coming home from the hospital, hopefully.
     I still remember vividly what I was doing sixteen years ago. Stephen and I were at Walmart picking up a few things for the hospital stay. And, trying to keep ourselves distracted then, too. But, we were nervous and anxious to meet our little girl. Little did we know that she would make such an impact soon so many lives. Or, that we would lose her so soon.
I still had a month left to go.

I think she was a day old in this one.

     So, tomorrow, I will not be OK. I will be mourning the absence of a celebration. I will also be mourning the loss of Baby Sebastian. He is the 6 month old son of a young man that is very dear to us. He was in a car accident involving a semi and he didn't make it. Please keep his family in your prayers. And, the friends he and I have in common. We understand that it is hard for them, too. And, it feels like you are stealing some of the happiness from their families. There is more guilt from things like that for me than anything else. But, your prayers help shield off some of the pain and anxiety. Well, I am going to try to go distract myself again. Good night. And, hold your children close.

No comments: