Friday, November 18, 2011

3 days of Thankfulness

I haven't posted my "what I am thankful for" for the last 3 days on Facebook. It has been a tad crazy. And, so have I.

There has been a lot of chaos. But, I don't want to even think about it. We do have a car. It will legal Monday. I guess we got a few break. but, for every good thing, it seems like there is something to make up for it. As Sarah said, "Murphy is a douche." (I didn't let her use the word often. but, sometimes, it just fits.) It has been two months and two days since she died. My heart throbs knowing she won't be coming back. I won't see her turn fifteen. Her birthday would have been in a few weeks. she would have a boyfriend right now. : ) I like the boy, too. So, did she. Last night was the worst night yet. It was a weird day, all the way around. About one o'clock in the morning, it hit me that we would have been at the movie theater together. That was the end of it. I went to bed sobbing. Jerry being the wonderful husband he is, just held me and let me cry. That is until I realized I could NOT breathe out of my nose. I had to make myself stop crying, sit up and make the most unladylike noises ever. But, it made us laugh, and relax.

The quote of the day came from one of Jerry's coworkers. "If you guys ever get a break, I am buying a lottery ticket."

Well, I have 3 days of thankfulness. So, here goes...

November 16th...Sarah

I have gone on and on about how awesome she was. So, have a lot of people. Even if I only had her for fourteen years, I had her. She was a blessing.


November 17th...Ty

I don't even have words for the change that has taken place in Ty within the last year and a half or so. The divorce was the hardest on him. And, it made things difficult between he and I. But, he has grown into such a sweet, compassionate, animated, loving, bright, fun-loving young man. I see a lot of his sister in him. And, more of me everyday. It makes me smile.

November 18th... Baylee and Ian

Baylee is one of Sarah's best friends. We joke that she is Jerry's love child. She fits in so well with us. She even looks like us. And, she really does feel like one of our own. We have been blessed with her in our life. I remember the first time she spent the night. Sarah popped off, "Great, I lost my best friend to Jerry." : ) She isn't a replacement for Sarah. We already loved her. And, her mother is kind enough to let her come spend the night sometimes still.

Ian is the kids step-brother. If you know my baby brother, Doug, he is a lot like him. except skinnier. He has been such a good influence on Ty. I really think that he is a lot of the reason that Ty has done so well. He has helped guide Ty socially. Plus, he is a darn good kid. (And, his mom said I can claim one of his pinky toes. She is kind of awesome that way.)

Well, that is all for tonight. I am tired. And, Jerry has already crashed. Man, I love him. He is one of the best things to every happen to me. Good night all. Until the next time...

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I have wanted to blgo for the last 2 weeks, or so. But, I have been to tired to do anything about it. I am afraid I have caught a cold. So, this will probably be short. My body is in need of rest.

This was a weird week. It seems like things might have finally started to turn around. My husband and his mother were in a wreck last friday. The truck is totalled. It is our only vehicle. He is fine. His mother hurt her hand. Nothing major, but it will take a while to heal. I was rather frustrated with her. She kept refusing to get her hand checked out. we told her that is why there insurance. It was only after Jerry told her that the insurance would cover up to $2,500 medical for either of them, that she believed us. She honestly did not think that insurance covered the injury. She nor Jerry have ever had to deal will insurance and a collision. I won't even start on the jerk at Enterprise who screwed Jerry over. It has turned out to our benefit though. There was a LOT of work that needed to be done on the truck. And, we really needed a car. Both to carry more than 3 people, and something with better gas mileage.

On the second thursday of every month, Abilene has "Artwalk" downtown. I set up my booth for the first time. I had a really good time. I sold some canvases, ornaments and such. I also had my first coffee from Monks (a downtown coffee shop).

Jerry has a job opportunity that, if he gets it, will make his life much easier. I don't want to divulge too much. But, life will get a little more "normal" around here if we get it. Send prayers, please. And, keep your fingers crossed.

And, on to the subject of life without Sarah. I seem to have moved on to the mood swing phase. It is rather frustrating. The people who see me on a daily basis, the girls I work with and Jerry. , get to see the full range. Mostly, it isn't too bad. I am more "down" than I was. But, I am laughing and smiling more. I do still have my frustrated with the idiots of the world and throwing myself into the bed, crying my eyes out moments. There are a lot of things I need to work on. Getting off my ass and getting stuff done, being the biggest one. There are other problems and such, some of which stemmed from months ago. I know that they are serious, and they need dealt with. But, I will be damned if I am going to let myself get back down to that dark, overwhelmed place. That place scares the hell out of me. I would really rather not go there. It is a very hard place to come back from.

We helped a it at a 5K for a friend of ours on Saturday. They are raising funds to pay for an "alert dog." The dog will alert when Ashley's sugar goes too far up or down. And, can save her life. We had a great time. And, they made a lot of money. There was also a balloon release for Sarah. I posted pictures on my Facebook page. Jennifer, my friend and T1 mom, has been awesome. She has been a great friend through all of this. She has taken my feelings into consideration in everyway possible without making me feel left out. It is a hard balance to find. And, she has done it beautifully.

Before I go, tomorrow in National Diabetes Awareness month. So, in honor or memory of the diabetics in you life, please, wear blue. : ) If you need a person to think of, here are a few... (Sarah is on the top row in the pink hat.)